spent an afternoon watching this documentary 'paris is burning'. liked some parts and didn't like some parts (->useless statement)
i guess personally i always get a bit nervous whenever watching transgender/sexual performances as a celebratory act- not that i don't enjoy watching them, but rather because in this culture here i can be easily defined as a 'normal homo' in the sense that i don't look 'visually-informing'- basically, i look like a femme/bisexual/heterosexual. while i am doing the most i can to resist this imposed point of view having an influence/being materialised on me, i am ambivalent. the best example is that i got asked 'are you gay?' in the club night when women approached me. this question interpellated my own ambivalence: i don't belong here; my gayness does not get to be read, and yes and no- i want while i don't want to feel taht sense of belonging.
anyway. after the film i checked out _feminist film theory_ to read butler's critique and bang! haven't been feeling like this for such a long time! so wonderful- and it's not exactly a feeling of being challenged, but rather an exhilarating joy of being *alive*.
miraculous. feeling alive is miraculous.
though, this puts more pressure, in a way, on me because i now so fucking wanna write the third part well- if not to perfection (still possible if you're like *really* situated).
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have you read bel hooks' response to butler's reading of 'paris is burning'?
adi
no. not aware that there's her response to it. where can i find it?
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