another day has gone.

've been avoiding my us housemate for ages; been very quiet and actually content with my writing without leaving traces of going about my regular life in this house for ages, and exactly for these 2 reasons, i've also started to show restlessness.

had high hopes for today, walked to uni and went straight into the campus store to meet up with various conference-packs-to-be stationary items. among the chatting, shopping and deciding colours of paper folders, yi-han and i started to exchange completely daily-life nonsense and it felt so warm and dear to me, though i've always understood that we are just so not connected because of the age difference and the consequent generation gaps, despite being raised in and surrounded by the same society.

so we chatted and jumped among topics and being sort of lax about things and yet still managed to agree upon a worksheet for the one week to come before the conference day. obviously i am just being a lazy jerk, 'i have to hand in stuff next wed and facilitate a session the same day and. . . so could you do this and that and this pleeeeease?'

and yet i am getting bored with what i am set out to do- writing, preparing the session, presenting whatever that can be counted as 'transnational queer', thinking about 'geek' and x-men, worrying about money for netherlands and canada etc. my adventurous nature does not let go of any opportunity to go do something different and be away, and yet i feel the materiality and physicality of these things is just going to kill me in the end (translation: extremely limited resources, budgets, time and energy).

. . . and still have time completing one of those cheesy online tests where the result page says:

What makes you a good partner and friend?

You're not likely to be clingy in a relationship
Your adventurous nature keeps life interesting
You can adapt easily to different situations
You are one who is dependable in times of crisis

oh well, i guess you're right; even though you don't know me and are nothing more than a computer-run programme connected to the internet. *grin*

there are roughly still another 20 pages to be finished before the 23rd and at the same time i have a hundred other things to do before the end of next week; but i am still determined about going away for the weekend, in the name of this.

and in the name of getting together with a good friend.

writing is fucking undesirable. sleep instead sounds just right. an appointment with the hairstylist next wed. totally braces me up: yes, i yet again cut my own hair and it yet again looks embarrassingly hilarious in the back. . .

in the past one hour, i listened to cheerio chen, got connected to the BBS community, counted the number of familiar ids and wrote two sentences, along with reading 3 essays. but yeah 2 sentences.

my firefox weather forecast just said that it's 0 degrees out! cool. a cold winter we're having aren't we? definitely looking forward to some white noise falling down much sooner this year! it was only 5 days in feb last year- so disappointing, esp regarding the amount of crispness, or at times dampness, and heaps of flaky snow we used to get in southern sweden in 2003. but at least the 3rd winter in europe cured my seasonal depression and actually have me enjoy the slanted, wintry sun in the mid-afternoons.

although i frankly have absolutely no idea where i'd end up after this fleeting 3-yr period, i know the revelations of my laziness and indolence in things are definitely signs of my settlement in it here. and what this signifies is yet to be observed in the days to come.