lesbian as chic?! -_-|||

it first happened on the train going back to y* from london. we were 3 on the return trip and there were a str8t woman, one queer and me (and i think they weren't sure what i was, since i was/am not sure either. anyway) the str8t one started to say, in a curiously reassuring tone, that she is really not that str8t because she thinks beyonce is hot. she would totally go to bed with her but she thinks beyonce wouldn't want to. then the queer woman said 'she might you ask her nicely'. i didn't say anything. i found myself confused with the conversation- i felt there was something more to it and yet i didn't understand what it was. at the same time, i found that conversation really weird.


then the first private conversation i had with my british housemate after moving in took place when she borrowed my laptop for the internet and realised that i had natalie portman on my desktop at the time, she went: 'i think she's really beautiful. i'd totally marry her if i could'. and there i was, tongue tied- i mean, what was i supposed to say? (i think i said something like 'ok'- which sounded prob. really stupid.)


my british housemate is a mormon, and she's duly obsessed with (of course heterosexual) marriage just as mormons are supposed to. (in the beginning i was a bit worried that she might be uncomfortable with the idea of homosexuality because of her religion- anybody who's seen _angels in america_ would know- and since there was no other way to find out, i deliberately let her know that i was going to the pride in mcr, which immediately pivoted me around the identity of lesbian for her. . .)


both situations left me wonder what it was that these two women wanted to express in their talks about sleeping with/marrying women? and then it sort of dawned on me one day that lesbianism is considered progressive and 'chic', and so they were trying to let people know that they were not bigots.

the whole thing creeps me out. it reminds me of my housemate who would date women just to show that she's avant-garde. it really, really creeps me out. i know it happens everywhere, and wendelin had talk with me about this phenomenon being 'popular' in the literature and arts circles in taipei, but still. . . human beings are so readily empty and hollow, so pathetic. (i mean, why would anyone do things just to 'show' to others that they are not like this or that?!)

and prob. i could be just one of them, if i am not careful and reflexive enough.