ett Hål i mitt hjärta

a film filled with disturbing, horrible and unbearable violence.

i went to see _ett Hål i mitt hjärta_ by mistake. i meant to see _3 rooms of melancholia_ and thought mistakenly that it would be played at 12.05, while it was really at 1.10. no wonder i thought the title of this film did not seem familiar at all.

so i missed the one i wanted to see, and instead saw this really violent and brutal film. i kept on suppressing my desire to leave, because it was actually a good one. there was a good dose of honesty and sincerity that i appreciated. but it was really brutal. it reminded me of _requium for a dream_. the thing was that it was brutal for a good reason, and i think it was that reason so deeply connected to humanity that really bothered and frightened me.

the director's previous films are _show me love_ and _lilja 4ever_. _show me love_ was soso, but kinda sweet i suppose. _lilja 4ever_ was too much of a 'teenager' genre for me. i saw _lilja_ first (right before i went to sweden), and then i watched _show me love_ while i was in sweden. the kind of sweden depicted in _lilja_ was so alienating and foreign to lilja that it made me feel nervous about my going to sweden for a year at that time- so contrary to the general knowledge of sweden being a peaceful and humanism-promoting country (though they do produce weapons. . .) thruout the film, it seemed that one could never know what would be in store for the future until one made the choice of being physically there. but in _show_, the kind of simplicity and predictability of sweden sort of came back as something taken for granted, which was an interesting twist in terms of my own viewing sequence of moodysson's works.

now that i've made a connection between the three films, i can't help but wonder why lukas moodysson always focuses on either sexuality or sex businesses (prostitution and porn) in sweden?

when i was there, sexuality seemed so invisible, almost not a concern, to me and to the people i knew. what might that possibily mean?