there are the words to be said

for some reason i've never thought of this, nor have i ever come to realize this in this particular way: that there are simply some things that you must say outloud in order to make it work for you.

most of the time, my own observations on, understandings and judements of the surroundings/circumstances will suffice for most of my decision-making. i don't really need people to spell it out for me so as to get a grip of what has been going on. (well sometimes i do need that though. . . esp. when it's primarily cultural- of a different cultural origin or based on some unfamiliar set of sociocultural pracitices, for example). but in relationships, for the first time i've realized that you simply have to say it outloud so that the other person can be 100% sure of what you're thinking about her and your relationship together.

i know it shouldn't be such a huge revelation and this idea is rather natural and basic. but i am quite struck by the fact that it has to be played in this way. i didn't know.

i've come to understand that this has nothing to do with someone lacking a sense of security, or having lost her frame of reference to reality. neither do i think that this means somebody, when in love, suddenly becomes too stupid to be able to tell what is happening. i think what it is may be that we're just too immersed in certain things and feelings, and so we are in desperate need of some clear, simple and straightforward words to pin some reality down for us, to ensure and to give us some warmth and stability- though we might be perfectly aware of some of this reality.

it's actually very nice to be able to do this for another person- to say what you think of them, or how they make you feel; so is it nice to be able to hear or read some words that ensure you of your importance to the other person. i've never learned to do this for someone else before. but i am glad that i am doing it now. it's perhaps never too late.